October 31, 2014/11:54pm
It’s Hallow’s Eve. I’m bored and all alone in my dorm room. My Plan A (which was to read horror stories on the Internet) did not work out because, well, I’m a coward when it comes to spooky stories. I thought I could do it, but no. Hahaha! So, here I am, blogging…after how many months of hiatus. I think I already lost my creative touch though. 😦 Even my poems aren’t as good as I would want them to be. Maybe this post would bring back my artistic side. *fingers crossed*
There have been many posts on Instagram and Facebook about people’s “20 Things About Me.” I never really talk much about myself. Sure, I say a lot about the things going on around me or my personal thoughts and opinions. But I never really considered describing myself in detail…until now. Haha! This is due to lack of ideas on what I’m going to write about. Please bear with me.
Just a short disclaimer: This post will probably be all over the place since I’m typing spontaneously and just letting the words travel from my head to my fingertips.
Okay. *deep breath* Here it goes…
- Growing up, I was really insecure about the way I look. I was a very skinny girl, tall and balbon. I had very long hair which I don’t tie because I was afraid my classmates would tease me about my big ears. I was very awkward and I always walk with my head down. During 5th grade, I started having breakouts, which made things even worse. I also hated my bushy eyebrows and long neck. I can’t remember the time I started to let go of my insecurities. It just happened. I started grooming myself (grooming talaga? hahaha) and cared less about what other people think of me. This included experimenting with different hairstyles, coloring my hair, threading my eyebrows, wearing more dresses and putting a bit of make-up (As in super a bit lang coz I’m not really a fan of make-up haha). But basically, looks weren’t on top of my priorities ever since. Haha! My mantra is “Basta presentable, okay na.” 😛
- I love studying! *nerd alert hahaha* Learning or discovering something new excites me because it reminds me that there’s still so much to know about. I was pretty grade-conscious when I was younger. Like the site of an 87 would kill me! Haha! Thankfully, I eventually got out of that phase and learned to loosen up a bit. 🙂
- Writing is my passion. That’s why I pursued a journalism degree, joined contests during my elementary and high school years, joined the school paper during college and looked for a job that involves writing, researching and editing. I think I will not be able to let go that side of me. Writing will always be in my blood. There’s just something so grand about the idea that your words can possibly touch people. Every time friends tell me that they related to something I wrote, I get chills. I’m not kidding.
- My favourite color is Red…the color of love. Hahaha! I think it’s a very intense color; very feisty yet passionate; warm yet soothing to the the soul. Now that’s just me trying to be poetic! Haha Kidding aside, I have no rational explanation. I just love it. Period. :3
- Music makes my world go round. I literally can’t live without it! My favorites are mostly not from my generation though. I listen to The Carpenters (Love you Karen and Richard!), The Beatles, Bee Gees, Dionne Warwick, Sir Elton John, Stevie Wonder…and the list goes on. I listen to any genre as long as the lyrics make sense and the instruments jive well together. Also, I don’t know if this is just me but every time I commute I listen to music and create MTVs on my head. I bet you guys do it too! Lol.
- I love being alone. I never really consider myself as a “people person” even though my friends say I am. I prefer quiet walks and random trips to wherever my feet take me. I think better when I’m all by myself. It gives me time to reflect and people-watch. It gets hard though when I think of something really funny and I want to laugh but I can’t because people might think I’m crazy. I still laugh anyway. :))
- Once I start talking, I can’t stop. Haha! This often happens during friendly or deep conversations. I love random, small talks with few people. It feels more close and intimate. I can blabber for hours and keep the talk going. Topics will range from small details about my day to very old memories like embarrassing things I did during pre-school or to random life questions like “Anong feeling ng piniprito?” Of course, I don’t do all the talking ha! I love hearing people’s stories too! I actually remember the small details they share. 😀
- I easily cry. I think I got this one from my mom and aunties. I cry when there’s a touching scene in a movie or when a friend tells a very emotional story. Heck! I cry when I think of made-up thoughts like someone’s leaving or dead. I even cry when I read. During third year college, Ken lent me his book “The Kite Runner” and I was literally crying while reading it. Huhu. Still makes me sad every time I think about that book.
- I consider myself as a feminist. Even during high school I had this sense of women empowerment in me that I didn’t realize until recently. My first column when I became senior editor for our college paper was about feminism. If you’re interested to read it, here’s the link: https://hiimcindyrella.wordpress.com/2014/04/15/the-throwback-column/ (Warning: I think I wrote this with much idealism. Haha! But I stand by it. I’m proud I wrote this about two years ago. :D)
- I have close sets of friends. The friends I have since pre-school, elementary and high school are still my best of friends until now. It was inevitable. We went to the same school all our lives and lived in the same village since we were kids. In college, I was also very lucky to have met awesome blockmates whom I now consider my brothers and sisters. ❤ I love my friends very dearly. I think that next to my family, they’re the best gift I ever had.
- For me, the beach is the best place on Earth. It’s like two different worlds (the sea and the shore) that meet halfway and you throw in all other elements (trees, sky, sunset etc.) and voila! You have the perfect setting! (Lakas maka-soul searching ng peg. Hahaha!) Okay. Just trying to be poetic again! :))
*GAAAH! It’s 1am! Nine more to go! Finish what you started, Cindyrella! Hahaha!
12. I was afraid of mascots until I was 14! It’s the kind of fear kids have when you scare them with spooky stories…the kind of fear that makes one cry. Yep. I used to cry and shake violently every time I see Jollibee or Grimace. I really don’t know why. Mascots are just creepy. Their smiles never go away like they’re planning something evil! >.<
13. Disney movies are my thing! When I was little, my tatay bought me all these Disney movie VHS tapes and I watch them every weekend! My favorite was Cinderella. (That’s where I got my nickname). I never realized what impact it made in my life until I grew older. Like, I still know all the words to the songs and the sequence of the stories! Hahaha! *Cue in “Part of Your World” from The Little Mermaid*
14. I have a huge crush on Ryan Gosling! After watching The Notebook, I was like…I want my own Ryan Gosling! Hahaha! I once saw a website that sells Ryan Gosling dummies and I considered buying one…but I didn’t. Okay. This part sounds weird. :))
15. Spoken word poetry is my favorite form of expression. Writing poems has always been one of my past times. I was about 18 when I first heard of spoken word and I was like…WHOAH! I didn’t know we could perform our poems, read them out loud…It’s so much more “right in the gut” and the emotions are more intense! Someday, I hope to perform one of my poems at the Bowery Poetry where Sarah Kay, one of my favorite spoken word poets, started out. Check her out. She’s awesome! ❤
16. One of the books that really had an impact on my life was Paulo Coelho’s “The Witch of Portobello”. I don’t know how many times I read it already. It just speaks to me in every way possible. I read it and I feel like I am the characters. I think I fell in love with it because of its core message about love (and he wasn’t just talking about romantic love here). Coelho said in the book that “Love simply is.” That’s it. No further explanations needed. IT JUST IS. Genius!
17. I love taking photos! In every occasion, I always make sure I have one or two shots. Lol. I think that since I’m an emotional person, I don’t want to miss moments…because once they pass, you can never have it back. You may have a similar experience or scenario. But each will always have a unique touch. And what better way to preserve the memories than by taking lots of pictures? 😀 It will also be a good laugh after a few years! My friends and I do it all the time. We’d look at old photos and laugh our heads off because we can’t believe we looked so jejemon back then. Haha!
18. I believe that Titanic is the best romantic movie of our generation. People who still haven’t seen it are missing one-fourth of their lives! And people who didn’t cry towards the ending have serious issues! Hahaha! *Cue in Celine Dion’s My Heart Will Go On*
“Winning that ticket, Rose, was the best thing that ever happened to me… it brought me to you. And I’m thankful for that, Rose. I’m thankful. You must do me this honor, Rose. Promise me you’ll survive. That you won’t give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, Rose, and never let go of that promise.” (Best movie line ever! Huhu T_______T)
19. I overthink. I’m the most paranoid person you will ever meet. I am slowly trying to change that now. But you know what they say! Old habits die hard! In everything I do there is always a tiny voice at the back of my mind saying that something will go wrong (Murphy’s Law. Lol). But then, after that certain instance, I come back to my senses and realize that everything was just in my head. And repeat cycle. I honestly have no idea how to get rid of it.
20. And for the finale… *drum roll please*
…Okay. So, I really wanted to write a pasabog last fact about me but I can’t think of any at this time (It’s 2am! HAHAHA). As much as I tried to keep this blog entry light and fun, I have no other choice but to share the last thing that popped on my head.
So here it goes…
Number 20 (for real). I’m afraid to get hurt. I think it has a connection with # 19. I don’t know. Just…I know it doesn’t make sense because everyone needs to get hurt at some point in time. But the very thought of it just scares the hell out of me. I guess that moment (or person worthy of the risk) hasn’t arrived…yet. Maybe he’s on his way na. Hahaha! (ANG DRAMA NITONG LAST! TSK HAHAHA!)
If you’re still reading this part, I assume you read the whole entry. Wooow! Thank you! Much appreciated! 😀