The two sides of ‘Goodbye’

They say a goodbye is never sad if its underlying statement is “I’ll see you soon again!”

I’ve had my fair share of temporary farewells; like a friend who left to settle abroad, an officemate who transferred to another company or a professor who quit her job to take care of her family.

It was nostalgic seeing them go. It was like closing a chapter of a book and moving on to the next without any guarantee of what will happen.

It was lonely at first because I needed to do away with my old routine. I don’t see them everyday anymore. I don’t sit with them at lunch or take a bus ride with them on my way home.

But as time goes by, I figured out that the saying was true. You get used to changes. You get used to not seeing them and not talking to them. The texts, calls and FB messages tend to lessen with each passing month. And it’s not because they’ve become less important. It’s just that I’ve realized that things and happenings are constantly evolving and life takes us to places we never expected. Everyone moves on.

Sure, I miss them. But there is a comfort in the fact that I will see them again someday.

Maybe, with the magic of some greater force, I will bump into them at a park or at a coffee shop and spend the day to talk.

We can reminisce about the past and how we’ve grown together in many so ways. Or we can appreciate the present and how things are beautifully unfolding. Or better yet, we can talk about the future; tell each other the dreams we still want to fulfill.

In between the words and the smiles, I am sure that we’ll come to appreciate the goodbye…because it has brought us to where we are now.

However, that is not always the case…

***

They say one of the hardest goodbyes is the one left unsaid; the one you will never be able to say because you will never see that person again.

I’ve had my greater share of permanent farewells; like an untimely death of a family member, a friend who cut all ties because of unfortunate circumstances or the one who got away who vanished on the face of the earth (figuratively) without explaining what went wrong.

It was painful seeing them go because of the fact that I will never have the chance to speak to them again, look into their eyes, see that melting smile or hear that endearing laughter. This kind of goodbye takes a lot of getting used to. I often ask why they had to leave in the first place. I wonder if people are able to get completely over it.

Honestly, I still don’t know the answer. And as much as I want to give a more justified ending to this blog entry, I am not sure how to. Maybe it will be less complicated if I just settle with the thought that people come and go. But it still doesn’t give me the satisfaction I want.

One thing I am certain is this…

There are things in life that do not have rational explanation. And most of the time, these things are the most important ones; the ones that tear us open and change us; the ones that leave behind a certain pang in our hearts.

 

 

 

 

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